Southern Highlands Fling

Spring 2021

The pandemic as we knew it is over…possibly. The scent of adventure is everywhere and the Foxes are emerging from their lairs after 2 years (with masks, QR codes and Vaccination Certificates in hand). Our own Andrew G has been digging a bigger hole than most and has devised a sojourn to the Southern Highlands for a few days to help us find answers to questions such as – Will we remember how to ride in formation? Will Lewy still want to be the sweeper? Will Andy G still lead with a paper list? Will Hydro still manage 4 devices to guide us when the aforementioned list gets wet? Can Russ still count sufficiently to ensure our finances are in order? Will Tony ride differently now that he is an Aussie? Will Singo manage to put the words on paper to entice our readers? Does Boxy have a backup extraction plan? Has Mike invested in a bike befitting the grueling Foxes trips? Will Andy R still choose to drop in for a couple of hours and nick off again?

The Five day Route

Day 1, Friday 19 November 2021

The Foxes met at ‘Breadworks’ at 7.30am ( Sam appreciating the unwanted exposure that our presence gave to his café) as excited as a Mother’s Group first meeting & discussed the forthcoming journey to the Southern Highlands over a coffee and Egg & Bacon Rolls. We have opted for a 4 night stay at Dormie House, Moss Vale which will be our base. A typical McMahons point resident (slightly unhinged) walked past yelling encouragement to our group.

The weather is overcast and the forecast is not good. Are we desperate or what!

The starting line up comprised Russ, Andy G, Hydro, Tony, Lewy & Singo. We departed Sydney via Heathcote Road and through the National Park. The mandatory stop at the Scarborough Hotel was foiled as it was closed so we continued on down to the Austinmer Café. Upon returning to our vehicles, Lewy notes that there is bird shit all over the Palamino seat, the offending birds sitting on the pole directly above his bike. Is this really happening?

The trip to Moss Vale is best described as a meander down the Coast with a right turn up and into the highlands.

We arrived at Dormie House about 4pm and settled in at the bar for a couple of looseners, Kiwi for “Summer Poppy” SavvyB.

Russ advised that the expense tracking app, Tricount, had been set up to record our trip expenses.

At this point, it became necessary to provide some basic instruction to the Foxes on the use of said app. A review of transactions today disclosed some major deficiencies. In particular, Tony’s descriptions were considered wholly inadequate and lacking creativity i.e. Drinks. He promised to lift his game and provide fuller particulars such as ‘a shitload of drinks for my boyz’.

We bumped into Gary McDonald (aka Norman Gunston) in the car park upon our return. Singo enquired as to “what’s happening?”. He replied “I’m taking delivery of an air fryer and then I’m going to settle back & listen to some Rusty Nails.” Singo responded, “I’ve heard they’re very good.” On reflection, I think he said he was going to drink some Rusty Nails. Anyway, that’s the sort of comradery we’re known for.

Dinner tonight was a faux Spanish Restaurant in Moss Vale. Asian waiters & Aussie chef. The restaurant had kindly allocated a centre table to us, however, we were told this was on the expectation of ladies accompanying us. With no ladies in the vicinity we were invited to move to a rear table. We declined the offer.

The day was a great start to the trip and expectations are very high.

Day 2, Saturday 20 November 2021

It is overcast but mild. We head to Breakfast at Exeter General Store & then the rain sets in on our journey to Huskisson. Wet weather gear is cleaned off and we are required to suit up. We all look forward to testing our new tyres on a wet and treacherous surface.

We meet our share of potholes on the deteriorating back roads before meeting our nemesis at Bungonia –  a gravel road! As the hair rises on our necks and uncontrollable shaking sets in, Hydro & Andy G leave the group and consult with each other on the preferred route to Tarago having regard to the Group’s best interests i.e. avoiding gravel roads.

Without upsetting the group by consulting more widely (later explained as “why discuss a topic you’re unable to understand or discuss rationally”) we continue on over the gravel and red clay for 30 kms. Lewy is riding very close to the ground on his vintage motor. We are all sliding and performing amazing feats of balance. We persevere & survive, almost without incident.

Andy G has picked up a sliver of shale with a resultant flat tyre on the corner of Sandy Point Rd & Oallen Ford Rd. We all set about fixing the tyre with Hydro & Andy G doing the work and the rest of us singing sea shanties of encouragement. With the puncture fixed, the tyre needs to be pumped up. Singo dug into his bag to produce the “tool of the day”, a tyre compressor. Given his general lack of usefulness, this was a stunning recovery from Singo.

We arrived at the Husky pub for lunch needing a break from the rain. Andy Riches has arrived & meets us at the pub.

With rain persisting, we return to Moss Vale via Nowra & Kangaroo Valley. We have become familiar with the wet weather conditions by now.

Lewy’s bike is showing signs of extinction. An initial starting problem at the Servo in Nowra becomes an insurmountable problem on the Moss Vale Road.. Ultimately it surrenders life at 2840 Moss Vale Rd – on a hairpin bend during an ascent. Looks like alternator problems. The Foxes Recovery Team assembles to discuss the extraction method. Andy G, Singo & Russ are on the home side of the road works on the Pass (having gone through the temporary lights) so they are of no help. Hydro< Andy R and Tony assist Lewy to safely secure the bike & await the NRMA. Pete has been required to upgrade his membership (code for “I’d better join”) to get any attention. As the darkness & fog set in, Lewy looks compassionately upon Hydro and releases him from his indenture. “You’ve done enough my friend”. Hydro runs to his bike and takes off before Lewy changes his mind. Lewy slumps to the side of the road and starts researching new bikes in “Modern Biker” magazine while he waits…& waits…..& waits…..& waits. He reflects that if it wasn’t for the Foxes he would be languishing here on his own. WTF, I am here alone! Bastards!!

[Conditions this afternoon were not ideal for a breakdown. Russ monitors the events surrounding 2840. Andy G is on standby.]

In the meantime, Grundy & Boxy have arrived at the hotel after a wet trip down from Sydney.

Dinner tonight is at Helen (Russ’ sister) & Paul’s place in Exeter. A great meal. Boxy seeks to ingratiate himself with the hostess by noting that the outdoor table, containing a lazy Susan, is very rare piece of furniture. Helen confirms it was acquired at BBQ’s Galore in a sale. Oh dear, not so rare then. ☹️

Meanwhile back with Pete.

At the conclusion of dinner, 10.40pm, Lewy has reported that he is now finally on the way on the back of the truck with his bike. He mumbled something about the driver not being particularly agile and the truck being past its use by date.

Lewy is bruised but not broken. Russ waits for him to arrive and provides him with a cold meal before heading back to the Hotel. The bike is domiciled at Helen’s place. How long?

Day 3, Sunday 21 November 2021.

Now there are just six of us left.

Breakfast is at the hotel this morning. We agree only to ever refer to last night’s adventures as “The Events surrounding 2840” in the future.

It is raining & looks like it will all day. Andy R & Tony have left for home, somewhat relieved. Janelle & Ash are on their way down to retrieve Lewy.

The residual group, sans Singo who has refused to ride in the wet (I’m just here for the fun”), have left in the rain for their pre-arranged day trip.

Lewy & Singo enjoy a chat and a cup of tea. The girls arrive and they all head in for a wander through Bowral & then to the Robertson Pub for lunch. The Lewy’s head back to Sydney.

The hardy day riders say that they “had the ride of the week”. The comparative lunch photos say it all really.

Dinner is at the Thai restaurant in Moss Vale tonight. A jolly good meal.

Day 4, Monday 22 November 2021

The weather has cleared and a sense of optimism has returned.

A hearty B’fast at Bowral and then we head down through the mountain passes to Kiama on the coast.

We drop into Robertson to observe the “the Big Potato” or more realistically “the Big Turd”. Then, as a tribute to “the Events surrounding 2840”, we pull over to the siding where it all took place. Steve is particularly distressed and needs a piss to mark the spot.

After an appropriate amount of contemplation in which we noted how lucky Lewy was to have us, we continued on to Kiama and a quick visit to the blowhole for some selfies. Lunch is at the adjoining restaurant.

Boxy still hasn’t managed to work out Tricount and needs a remedial course.

We also discuss our next stop for afternoon tea. When too much food is barely enough.

The return trip to Moss Vale via the Jamberoo Mtns Rd is exquisite. We ride through tree canopies, between striking green fields full of cows, sheep & horses. The curvetage & kilometage are mouth watering.

Not ready to go home yet, we drop into Berrima for a 🍺 at the Surveyor- General.

Back to Dormie for a few looseners and then to dinner at the Peking Chinese Restaurant. Note: the Malaysian chef said everything on the menu is shit cos its Chinese. Leave it to me and I will cook some real food. Great meal!!

Day 5, Tursday 23 November 2021

Our final day on the road.

Boxy has withdrawn to Sydney early this morning cos he prefers boats to bikes. Now there are just five of us left.

A quick coffee at Moss Vale Moss and we hightail it west to Goulburn, Taralga & Oberon for a late b’fast/early lunch. Another exhilarating ride under sunny skies. Just to cap it off, we are held up by cows being herded on the road.

It’s not a Fox Tour without the “Man Magazine” centrefold [Taralga,NSW]. Andy G seems distracted?

After leaving Oberon, we continued onto Tarana, the scene of Boxy’s Calamity last year to see how the road (Sodwall) had improved. It hasn’t!! It is in worse shape and the ride is at a snail’s pace.

The rain sets in as we top the Great Dividing Range at Lithgow and we set ourselves for home down the Bells Line of Road.

Thanks to Andy G for his inspirational leadership and organisation of the trip. Thankfully, most of the answers to the questions posed at the start of this blog were answered with a resounding YES.

We covered 2,200 kms over the 5 days. Another Great Fox Adventure.

Post Script

[Post Script: Lewy’s bike has been retrieved from Exeter and sent to Mittagong for repair.]